(This is an article from a Christian’s perspective about how fellow Christians should support one another through the journey of adoption rather than condemning it as ‘not of God’. I’m neither a Pastor nor a church worker but I don’t believe my Christian walk is any less than theirs. In fact, where God has chosen for me and Angie to tread with Him, very few would boldly follow.)
Recently, a fellow adoptive parent, recounted to us how she felt when her Christian Cell Group Leader (yes, leader) glowingly shared the good news that she had finally conceived after “waiting upon God” with“faith”. The leader went on to infer about how adoption was not in God’s scheme of plan (After all, Sarah and Hannah both prayed and conceived supernaturally!). This disturbed our adoptive parent friend. Clearly saddened, she had asked us for our views. It was then we revisited these important questions which we had to resolve as a Christian couple when we walked this path of adoption. “ Is it God’s plan for us to adopt?”, “What does the Bible say about adoption?”, “Where are examples of adoption in the Bible?”.
Admittedly, while the Bible is filled with a spectrum of miracles and events from plunders and wars to the healing of the sick and raising of the dead, it seemed relatively silent on the topic of adoption. The common ‘no-brainer’ quote most would give a childless couple would be those of Sarah (Abram’s wife) and Hannah, who both prayed earnestly and were eventually blessed with children from their wombs. Therefore, on the surface, it would seem that self-righteous cell leader is correct. But study closer and you would realize that adoption had all along held a very special place in God’s plan.
“ It is the glory of God to conceal a matter; to search out a matter is the glory of kings.” 1. Prov. 25:2 (NIV)
During the olden times of our Grandparents and Great Grandparents, severely impoverished families would give their younger and sometimes unplanned children to another household to be brought up. These were seldom legalized as they were poor and often uneducated. Moreover, these children would typically spend their entire lives living with their adopted families only to reunite with their biological families after a good number of years. Whatever the case may be, these children were accepted, loved and cared by those who were not their biological parents. I wouldn’t be surprised if the arrangements were similar, if not far more informal in the biblical days.
Adoptions in the Bible
1. Queen Esther
Esther, having lost her parents, was adopted by Mordecai, her cousin who also served in the court of King Xerxes I. Through a series of circumstances and having her ethnicity hidden, Esther eventually married Xerxes I and used her influence to save her people, the Jews from being annihilated by her husband the King.
2. Samuel, The Prophet
Samuel, the son of Hannah, the lady who prayed earnestly and faithfully for a child and eventually conceived, gave her young son to be adopted by the priest Eli as her promise to God. Under Eli’s care, Samuel was anointed a Prophet and became one of the greatest judges of Israel who eventually anointed the young shepherd David to be King.
3. Moses
To save the life of her baby, Jochebad, a Hebrew slave, hid her baby in a basket and float it down the Nile, hoping an Egyptian would pick him up and adopt him. A young lady did just that and she was the Pharoah’s daughter. The adoption by the Princess saved Moses’s life and kept his ethnicity hidden for many years. Moses, of course, went on to lead his people out of slavery and became a major icon of faith whom God had the pleasure of revealing Himself to.
4. Jesus
Jesus was conceived supernaturally in the virgin Mary through divine intervention. Joseph obviously, had no biological part in this. It is a known fact that Jesus grew up as a well-statured young man and earn his kept as a skilled carpenter. This also implied that Joseph adopted Jesus as his son, loved him as his own, guided him and taught him his trade like how any loving adoptive father would.
There are more examples of adoption in the bible (e.g. Jacobs’ adoption of Ephraim and Manasseh (Genesis 48); Abram and Eliazar (Genesis 15); but if any of these above which I mentioned are to go by, it goes to show that people who were adopted had a distinctly special destiny in God’s grand plan. It would seem like they were an elite chosen by God, to lead and deliver God’s people.
This leads me to the greatest story of adoption found in the bible and that is our very own salvation through Christ. Ephesians 1, verse 5 (NIV) writes: “He predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will— (v.6) to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.”
Don’t Constraint God
In our Christian journey as a married couple yearning to start a family, we have had the privilege of meeting other committed and Christ-centred couples whom we deeply respect. Some are childless, others with disabled and special needs children, some have gone through child losses (like we did), all of whom we hold dear to our hearts for their unwavering faith in the Lord. In fact, we have the privilege of knowing 2 different senior pastors of two prominent Protestant / Methodist churches in Singapore who had each adopted two children of their own too. Are these Pastors who adopted earthly kids of lesser faith then?
One of the challenges of worshiping in an urban church in an affluent country like Singapore is that we may unconsciously breed the belief that we should strive to earn favour with God though acts of faith and holy giving etc…so that He can bless us in the ways we asked to be blessed. I’m sorry, but that to me leaves out the entire concept of Grace which is the cornerstone of the Christian faith. Also, to say that certain things were not of God because it was not explicitly stated in the bible is myopic, shallow and would be akin to limiting God in our finite wisdom.
While the Bible is a record of God’s plan for salvation of His people, I would like to think that God’s ways of doing things and His Grace are certainly not limited by history or record. In fact, I believe, we are the ones who will continue to write God’s modern day salvation stories in our lives as His adopted children, as He reveals His Grace, Mercies and Goodness to us each and everyday.
Jews or Gentiles, biological or adopted, God loves us all the same.
Adeline says
Thank you for sharing so candidly, because it’s such a sensitive Topic. This is an issue very close to my heart too, because we have had people telling us that IVF isn’t “from God”. All life is God-given, and I think people should be less quick to pass judgement. Happy 2nd birthday, Buddy!
David.S says
Thanks for dropping by and leaving your comments Adeline. Yes, due to the sensitivity of the topic we actually held this post back, read and reread for some time before deciding to publish it hoping to encouragement other folks, even like yourself, whom God has chosen to walk the road less travelled…with Him.
Madeline says
Great sharing David! Ephesians 1:5 was the first thing I thought of when I clicked your post. Definitely agree that there are diff ways that God can accomplish His plans and we should not limit him!
David.S says
Thank you for visiting and for your affirmation.
Michelle says
I’m not a religious person. But I think all religious sacred books, be it the bible or the Quran, teach people to do good in life, although at times it could be misinterpreted. I always felt that it takes a selfless and bigger person/couple to love an adopted child as unconditionally as their own. You are giving love and protection to another human being. There can’t be anything wrong with that! So good on you and Angie for taking this path.
Vivien says
You are adoptive parents yourselves? I actually think that is a very noble thing to do. To love kids that are not your own as your own. As I was reading, before I came to your biblical stories, I thought of Moses first. Who knows maybe the princess is married and have found difficulty in conceiving and along comes a baby boy floating in a basket down the river? We never know 🙂 (by the way, I thought the leader was very insensitive by making that remark as she probably know of people in the group who were listening have adopted children.grr)
Vivien ( Beautiful Chaos )
Katherine says
Not every couple can conceive naturally, so do and some don’t, there’s not shame in that. It is a quality of a Christian and the focus of God’s way to love people and to have love for others. Couples who can’t conceive give their love to adopted children who might not be more loved than they are if they are not adopted.
One of my cell group friend adopted one, had a child from IVF and 3rd child naturally. Truly God’s blessing.
I have another cell group friend who also adopted a child, and her brother who is a CG leader adopted too.
I believe they have so much love and these children are blessed to receive their love. Would God forsake these children? No, so I believe adoption is an option to give love.
As for IVF, it’s not always successful too, but if God is willing, one can be successful.
Holly jean says
A very beautiful and honest post. Thank you for sharing.
My dad’s sister was adopted as a young child, but his parents love her like their own flesh and blood. And frankly, if no one ever mentioned it to me, I would never have realized to this day that she was adopted. And also, it wouldn’t matter.
Winnie says
To me, it’s all about love. Didn’t God tell us that we have to love one another? And love can make one do great things, like how your family has accepted Buddy. Happy birthday Buddy!
Shub says
I am not Christian but I wholeheartedly agree and support your views. In my family, we have examples where people have adopted without caring about what others think.
Dawn says
Thanks for sharing this heartfelt post, David. I’ve never really though that adoption was something “out of God’s scheme of plans” but it is really enlightening for you to help put this topic into perspective with God’s words and biblical references. Witnessing how Buddy is loved and brought up in your wonderful family is already a great testimony of God’s own love and grace 🙂
Ling says
Thank you for the beautiful sharing. It gives a fresh perspective on adoption and sharing our
love for a child who needed it.
Jingyi says
I’m so sorry the cell leader shared about what he said. Maybe he didn’t meant it the way the words came out of his mouth. But back to the topic of adoption, I believe it is a beautiful act of love. How else can children from lesser backgrounds experience the warmth & love of a family.
Lois says
Thanks for your insightful sharing. I went through two different paths to motherhood: 7 years of TTC before God grants me my first child; Welcoming my second bundle of joy through adoption last year. I think God works His miracles in different and His creative ways. Appreciate your timely encouragement to adoptive Christian parents like me who sometimes will doubt whether adoption is biblical and thus an act of no faith.Thanks for your reminder that every child is from God! Thank you!
Reamy Garcia says
I strongly agree that God’s Grace is not limited in history and records. Adoption is such a sensitive topic indeed…as my family went through this scenario…and I would say giving someone a place to call home, sharing everything including your faith and family, and providing their needs is the greatest Love we can offer.
David.S says
Thanks for your affirmation and encouragement.