{"id":465,"date":"2012-10-31T01:35:00","date_gmt":"2012-10-30T17:35:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lifestinymiracles.com\/2012\/10\/31\/tuesdays-thoughts-raising-a-happy-child\/"},"modified":"2014-10-03T18:20:22","modified_gmt":"2014-10-03T10:20:22","slug":"tuesdays-thoughts-raising-a-happy-child","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lifestinymiracles.com\/2012\/10\/tuesdays-thoughts-raising-a-happy-child\/","title":{"rendered":"Tuesday’s Thoughts: Raising a Happy Child…"},"content":{"rendered":"
Little minds can be very complicated minds. The mere fact that they’re young \u2014 even extremely young \u2014 does not mean that they don\u2019t experience a world of complex feelings and thoughts. What does it take to decipher their complex minds and raise a happy, secure child?\u00a0 I’ll like to share 5 tips from this article<\/a> which I found to be helpful.<\/div>\n
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1.\u00a0 LOL! Joking Helps<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n
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Never be afraid to join your kids in their world…<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

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Lighten up! Joking with your toddler helps set them up for social success<\/b>. When parents joke and pretend, it gives young kids the tools to think creatively, make friends and manage stress. Daddy aces this department; whenever he’s around, the house livens up. He’s wacky, he’s spontaneous and he engages Dana in wholesome boisterous fun and imaginative play. Daddy’s philosophy? She’s only gonna be young once and let’s enjoy her (and let’s help her enjoy her childhood) while we can!<\/p>\n

2. Be Positive<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n\n
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Looking forward to her 1st Marathon Run because she knows we’ll be cheering for her.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n
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Parents who express negative emotions toward their children or handle them roughly are likely to find themselves raising aggressive kids<\/b>. That\u2019s bad news, because behavioral aggression at age 5 is linked to aggression later in life. So if you find yourself in a cycle of angry parent, angry baby, angrier parent, try to break free. Think positive, speak positive and it will alleviate many behavioral problems in the long run. As a Mom, I am ashamed that I’m quick to anger whenever Dana delays compliance or acts willfully.\u00a0 I am also guilty of threatening (and occasionally using) corporal punishment (a.k.a cane) on her.\u00a0 I’ve come to realise I need to react positively; to balance my strict code discipline with an extra ounce of patience so that my daughter does not grow up thinking she is unloved.<\/div>\n

3. Nurture Your Marriage<\/span><\/span>
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A special delivery from the hubs when he was in the States on a business this year.<\/td>\n<\/td>\n<\/td>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

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Don\u2019t let your relationship with your spouse or partner fall by the wayside <\/b>when baby is born. A happy marriage is the foundation growing happy kids. Make efforts to keep the flame of romance alive and let your spouse know he\/she has not been displaced by the addition of children.\u00a0 Even though the hubs and I may not be able to go out on date nights often (due to lack of extended home support),\u00a0 we never fail to send each other a short SMS or whatsapp message everyday to say ‘Love you’ or ‘Thinking of you…”.\u00a0 Little gestures like these go a long way to anchor the relationship in love.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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A self-taken portrait on one of our rare date nights…<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n
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4.\u00a0 Don’t Aim For Perfection<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n
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It’s ok if the clothes are mis-matched…she’s having fun with pretend play!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n
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Nobody\u2019s perfect, so don\u2019t torture yourself with an impossibly high bar for parenting success.<\/b> Parents who believe society expects perfection from them are more stressed and less confident in their parenting skills. Make an effort to ignore the pressure (though easier said than done), and you may find yourself a more relaxed parent. After four years of Motherhood, I’ve learnt not to sweat the small stuff.\u00a0 I don’t measure my success against other Mommies or my child’s success against theirs. No matter how good we are, there will always be other Mommies who can cook\/sew\/bake\/write\/homeschool\/throw a better party than I do so why subject myself to such unnecessary competitive mentality which breeds dissent and insecurity? Instead, I chose to give thanks and be contented with my lot. Only then will I be at peace to celebrate and embrace my talents, my strengths and help my child to count her blessings too.<\/div>\n
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House over-run by toys? She’s creating magic with them!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

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5. Judge the Behavior, not the Child<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n\n\n\n\n
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I am Special because God made me so!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n
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The most important job of a parent is to make a child feel intrinsically worthy.<\/b>\u00a0 No matter what their accomplishments or failures, as parents, we should completely accept our child for who they are (rather than who we want them to be). To achieve that, we should honestly critique a child’s behavior<\/i>, but not the child’s character.<\/b> This distinction makes it less likely that the child will confuse her actions or accomplishments with her self-worth.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

For example, saying “that was a hurtful thing you said<\/i>” is less harsh than would “you were being rude and disrespectful<\/i>.” Similarly, saying “that was a clever idea<\/i>” may be better than saying “you are brillian<\/i>t”. That way, when a kid inevitably does something wrong, he doesn’t feel he has ruined his parents’ opinion of him. Personally, I think this is one of the most important take away from this post.\u00a0 The foundation of a happy child essentially lies in their healthy self-worth. If they feel assured, loved and valued, they will grow up happy. To criticise the behaviour and not the child – what a timeless piece of golden advice for all parents. I MUST start conscientiously applying this principle in my parenting duties so that my words will not stem Dana’s self-esteem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n
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Thanking God for my happy princess!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n
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What about you? What do you do in your home to raise a Happy Child? Which of these tips do you find helpful? I’d love to hear your thoughts.<\/div>\n
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Linking up with MummyMoo<\/a>‘s<\/span><\/i><\/div>\n
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All photos in this post were taken with the Iphone 3 and 4.<\/span><\/div>\n

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Little minds can be very complicated minds. The mere fact that they’re young \u2014 even extremely young \u2014 does not mean that they don\u2019t experience a world of complex feelings and thoughts. What does it take to decipher their complex minds and raise a happy, secure child?\u00a0 I’ll like to share 5 tips from this […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[62,17,91],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p59hHF-7v","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lifestinymiracles.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/465"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lifestinymiracles.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lifestinymiracles.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lifestinymiracles.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lifestinymiracles.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=465"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lifestinymiracles.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/465\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lifestinymiracles.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=465"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lifestinymiracles.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=465"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lifestinymiracles.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=465"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}