{"id":390,"date":"2013-03-26T10:41:00","date_gmt":"2013-03-26T02:41:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lifestinymiracles.com\/2013\/03\/26\/tuesdays-thoughts-stories-that-bind\/"},"modified":"2014-10-03T18:19:51","modified_gmt":"2014-10-03T10:19:51","slug":"tuesdays-thoughts-stories-that-bind","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lifestinymiracles.com\/2013\/03\/tuesdays-thoughts-stories-that-bind\/","title":{"rendered":"Tuesday’s Thoughts – Stories that Bind…"},"content":{"rendered":"

There was an article published in the New York Times<\/a> entitled ‘The Stories that Bind Us<\/a>‘<\/strong>. I read it last night and found myself nodding to many points mentioned in the insightful piece.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n
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Living in this\u00a0information overload age\u00a0where\u00a0one is\u00a0constantly\u00a0attuned to media updates (think news-feed from Fb, Twitter, Instagram etc); where\u00a0addiction to information technology erodes the quality of family interactions (picture Daddy working on laptops, Kids playing on Ipads, Moms\u00a0attempting the next level on\u00a0Candy Crush on their smart phones), family relations\u00a0are getting increasingly dissipated. The writer, Bruce Feiler\u00a0suggests families may want to create a mission statement similar to the ones many companies use to identify their core values.<\/p>\n

To give our kids a sense of rootedness and belonging, we have to ask ourselves\u00a0what is the secret ‘sauce’ that would hold my family together? What are the ingredients that would make my kids effective, resilient, happy?\u00a0\u00a0Perhaps the single most important thing\u00a0we can do for our family may be the simplest of all: develop a strong Family Narrative<\/strong>.\u00a0 We all have narratives\u00a0to tell and our children love to hear\u00a0our stories! They can be stories of how the family came to be: how Daddy met Mommy, what happened on our Wedding Day, stories of their births, stories of where\u00a0the grandparents grew up, where Daddy and Mommy\u00a0went to\u00a0school, what kind of students we were, who are the friends we make,\u00a0stories of\u00a0how something terrible that happened to us and how we stuck together as a family despite these crises. Narratives are very powerful tools to pass on the family’s legacy to the next generation…<\/p>\n

Since the Princess turned 4 last year, the\u00a0hubs\u00a0has started this Family Narrative exercise with the\u00a0aim of\u00a0imbuing gratefulness. He reminds Dana\u00a0how both Mommy and Daddy are working hard in the office to pay for all the classes and activities which she enjoy\u00a0and to bring her for nice holidays; we share with Dana\u00a0the hardships we overcame in our\u00a0growing up years\u00a0– how Gong-gong (Daddy’s Father) passed away when he was a teen, leaving\u00a0Penang Mama\u00a0to raise\u00a0Daddy and his 2 siblings single-handedly. How Mommy\u00a0had a difficult childhood as\u00a0I came from a home where we were constantly terrorized by loan sharks.\u00a0We also constantly update\u00a0Dana with stories of her distant aunties,\u00a0uncles and cousins so she can feel a sense of connectedness with the extended family whom we hardly have chance to meet.\u00a0 One narrative which we will soon have reveal to Dana would\u00a0be why we are unable to grant her\u00a0birthday wish for a younger\u00a0sibling and how God\u00a0preserved Mommy’s life\u00a0through the pregnancy losses\u00a0before we finally had her as our miracle baby…<\/p>\n

According to Dr.\u00a0Marshall Duke, a\u00a0psychologist at Emory University<\/a>, “Kids\u00a0who know a lot about their families tend to do better when they face challenges and setbacks….they proved to be more resilient,\u00a0as we are building in them a\u00a0strong ‘inter-generational self.’ They know they belong to something bigger than themselves.\u201d<\/p>\n

Besides telling Family Narratives, another meaningful act which goes a long way is to instill Family Traditions<\/strong> which give the children familiarity and empowerment. Traditions which are only unique to your family grow deep roots.\u00a0 For example, till this day,\u00a0the hubs\u00a0remembers with fondness how his late Father would bring\u00a0him\u00a0for Roti Prata breakfast on Sunday mornings\u00a0before\u00a0heading to Church. He also remembered the family vacations they went together before\u00a0his Father passed away…I remembered fondly how my late maternal Grandfather\u00a0always brought me for neighbourhood walks every evening\u00a0which\u00a0always ended\u00a0in my favorite\u00a0ice-cream cone treat. In our home, we have\u00a0developed several\u00a0little family traditions which are still evolving\u00a0– making the annual sojourn back to Daddy’s hometown in Malaysia for reunion during Chinese New, praying together and giving thanks at the table before mealtimes,\u00a0chatting with\u00a0Penang Mama on the phone every Sunday night, Year, putting up the Christmas Tree together and giving Great Grandma a big hug and kiss each time we meet.\u00a0Family Traditions need not be\u00a0grand elaborate affairs yet when observed over time, they\u00a0build that\u00a0strong sense of identity which bind us as family.<\/p>\n

The bottom line: if you want a happier family, create, refine and retell the story of your family\u2019s positive moments and your ability to bounce back from the difficult ones. That act alone may increase the odds that your family will thrive for many generations to come.<\/p>\n

Do you share Family Narratives with your children? What are some Family Traditions you keep? Do share with me. <\/em><\/p>\n

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Linking up with MummyMoo<\/a>‘s<\/span><\/i><\/div>\n
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<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

There was an article published in the New York Times entitled ‘The Stories that Bind Us‘. I read it last night and found myself nodding to many points mentioned in the insightful piece. Image Source   Living in this\u00a0information overload age\u00a0where\u00a0one is\u00a0constantly\u00a0attuned to media updates (think news-feed from Fb, Twitter, Instagram etc); where\u00a0addiction to information […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[62,17,91],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p59hHF-6i","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lifestinymiracles.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/390"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lifestinymiracles.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lifestinymiracles.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lifestinymiracles.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lifestinymiracles.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=390"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lifestinymiracles.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/390\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lifestinymiracles.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=390"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lifestinymiracles.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=390"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lifestinymiracles.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=390"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}