{"id":12676,"date":"2015-01-29T09:30:23","date_gmt":"2015-01-29T01:30:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lifestinymiracles.com\/?p=12676"},"modified":"2015-03-05T14:06:14","modified_gmt":"2015-03-05T06:06:14","slug":"in-sickness-and-in-health","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lifestinymiracles.com\/2015\/01\/in-sickness-and-in-health\/","title":{"rendered":"In sickness and in health…living out your marriage vows"},"content":{"rendered":"

My grandma suffered a stroke on Sunday morning.\u00a0What ensued were manic visits\u00a0to the hospital, agonizing waits for battery of tests, scans and probes to the tiny frame that is my 88 year-old Teochew-speaking Ah Ma. A steady stream of family members rallied round her, hoping that our moral support and physical presence would do miracles to her recovery.<\/p>\n

In the 6\u00a0bedder ward where my Grandma was confined, there lie a Chinese lady (in her late 40s or early 50s), head half-shaven, being hooked up to the life support machine in her semi-conscious state. She had no visitors except for one – her long-suffering husband, who would visit her without fail after work and during lunch hours each day. He would come, kiss her gently on her forehead and massage his wife lovingly. A nurse\u00a0revealed that his wife too is a stroke survivor,\u00a0except her paralysis may be permanent…My heart ached for her, and for him.<\/p>\n

As I observed this middle-aged couple, tears welled up in my eyes. How many marriages this day, when hit with storms of\u00a0physical illness\u00a0or debilitating conditions, are still committed to remain\u00a0loving and functional? The healthy spouse has every right to begrudge the other, being thrust the burden as\u00a0the primary-caregiver. \u00a0Enduring through the seasons of sickness in\u00a0a\u00a0marriage requires a great deal of self-sacrifice. He has to\u00a0live with\u00a0threatened loss of personal dreams, goals and relationships. \u00a0Yet in the face of life-altering uncertainties, he must muster the courage to maintain normalcy. Life must go on – if he collapses, so will she.<\/p>\n

For couples dealt with life’s harshest blows,\u00a0the simple words\u00a0from\u00a0the wedding vow,\u00a0\u2018in sickness and in health<\/em>\u2019 will now take on\u00a0a meaning that far exceeds anything most people could ever understand. \u00a0When we first make these promises\u00a0on our Wedding Day, it sounded like a fairly easy proposition to be there\u00a0for our spouse\u00a0during the good times and bad. \u00a0But nothing would prepare us to live out\u00a0this vow, unless we have a deep-rooted\u00a0commitment to each other – regardless, for better or worse, till death do us part.<\/p>\n

We don’t have to visit a hospital ward to know that\u00a0sicknesses and sufferings\u00a0are\u00a0not rare occurrences.\u00a0But still, when we\u00a0see it played out right before your eyes, it is sobering.\u00a0A spouse doesn\u2019t change a bed pan or a colostomy bag because it’s fun, but they do it out of love and commitment. They don\u2019t care for\u00a0their spouse with the motive that they will be returned the favor at a later time, but they do it out of love and commitment. Such\u00a0unconditional acts of service and love honor their marriage, and at the core of their lives, it honors God.<\/p>\n

We are into our 16th year of marriage this June (yes old right?), and\u00a0I still wake up, thanking God daily\u00a0for giving me a husband who bears my sufferings from our infertility to the traumatic child losses. If he had not camped\u00a0by my bedside during those 90 days’ stay in the hospital; if he had not held my hands when the docs shook their heads; if he had not given me his shoulder to cry on when we handed our babies to the mortuary; if he had not hugged me tight\u00a0and wept\u00a0‘God reigns’\u00a0when our world was turned upside down….I would have given up on faith, on hope, on life long ago. As modern day\u00a0couples going through life’s trials,\u00a0I pray God will strengthen all our\u00a0marriages\u00a0as we\u00a0honour the covenant to hold\u00a0on to each other. And when the tests come, that we may\u00a0be found faithful to our spouse, right till the end.<\/p>\n

Let me share\u00a0an excerpt from this article: The Most Overlooked Characteristic of Who You Want to Marry<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

Find someone who suffers well.
\nI know it doesn\u2019t seem important when life is perfect.
\nA beautiful smile is far more attractive than a quiet determination.
\nA common interest is far more appealing than internal strength.
\nYet when life falls apart, you want someone you can run to<\/em>,
\nnot someone you want to run from<\/em>.<\/p>\n

In the Bible, Job\u2019s wife responded to his suffering by saying,
\n\u201cCurse God and die.\u201d
\nHad he not suffered enough?
\nWas life not difficult enough?
\nEnduring hardship was enough, yet Job was also forced to rebuke his wife during his time of struggle.
\nLife is hard enough; there is no need to make it harder.
\nChoosing a spouse who does not suffer well makes life harder.
\nIt makes every grief stronger.
\nIt makes every sorrow more painful.
\nIt makes every hurt deeper.<\/p>\n

Yet,
\nwhen our spouse knows how to suffer,
\nwhen they have don\u2019t live in denial, but confront the sorrows of life,
\nwhen they don\u2019t live in despair but know how to laugh and cry at the same time,
\nwhen they offer support and hope in all of life\u2019s challenges,
\nwhen they can see the big picture of life,
\nthen,
\nevery grief is wedded to hope
\nevery sorrow is matched with love
\nand every hurt is paired with healing.<\/p>\n

\"Withmywholeheart\"<\/p>\n

Source<\/a><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

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My grandma suffered a stroke on Sunday morning.\u00a0What ensued were manic visits\u00a0to the hospital, agonizing waits for battery of tests, scans and probes to the tiny frame that is my 88 year-old Teochew-speaking Ah Ma. A steady stream of family members rallied round her, hoping that our moral support and physical presence would do miracles […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":12733,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[62,17,282],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lifestinymiracles.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/Empty-Bed-Banner-New21.jpg?fit=1140%2C609&ssl=1","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p59hHF-3is","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lifestinymiracles.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12676"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lifestinymiracles.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lifestinymiracles.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lifestinymiracles.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lifestinymiracles.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12676"}],"version-history":[{"count":71,"href":"https:\/\/www.lifestinymiracles.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12676\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12754,"href":"https:\/\/www.lifestinymiracles.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12676\/revisions\/12754"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lifestinymiracles.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/12733"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lifestinymiracles.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12676"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lifestinymiracles.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12676"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lifestinymiracles.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12676"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}